Shuggie Shuggie, How you get so fly? I've realized it may have been better to spell it Shoogie all these years, but oh well. You know what I'm saying.
Giiiirl...
Where do I begin? Dan. You are such cool girl. So many times I have watched you and just been struck with what a fun, cool girl you are! You have such a personality! Oh, how I wish I could have been like you when I was young--filled with confidence and talent and wit and feistiness! It's absolutely no wonder you always have a ton of friends because you are just so dang fun.
You just finished fifth grade with Mr. Jorgensen and will be headed to middle school next year. Say whaaaa??? Because you are who you are, you are super excited. I am not excited. I don't want you to grow up. I want you to be my little sugar plum forever!
We just got back from our summer trip to Vegas, during which time you went on your 6th grade trip with Nana and Sherri! You got to swim with dolphins! As Nana and Sherri were sending me pictures of it, I knew you were having the time of your life and I was right! When you got home, you told me how much you had loved it and how it is one of the greatest memories of your life. You are so lucky to have such an amazing, generous Nana!
You continue to love animals soooo much and want a pet more than anything else in this world. And while I truly love this about you, so far Dad and I have not agreed to let you have one. Recently, however, I came as close as ever to relenting. It was just after you had caught that baby bunny in the back yard....
I can't remember exactly how it happened, but I know that you had been picking weeds under the trampoline and you had a big bowl. Somehow, you had managed to catch a baby bunny under that bowl (is that how it happened?) Regardless, you came running into the house yelling that you had finally caught a bunny! Oh, man! You were so excited. Daddy and I and Skip and Jane all went out back to see it. You lifted the bowl and wen to pick it up, but it managed to scamper away. Luckily, you and Daddy were able to trap it again and Daddy got a hold of it and then handed it to you. You were one very happy girl. You snuggled that bunny and ran around getting water and food for it and then immediately began begging to keep it. Daddy and I didn't know what to say, so we said we thought that would be ok. You were ecstatic. Unfortunately, just a little while later, we began Googling "how to care for a wild baby bunny" and found out that wild baby bunnies will most likely die shortly after having been caught because of the stress it causes them. Upon hearing that, you made the very difficult decision to let your little bunny go. You held and petted it a while longer and then walked out into the middle of the back yard, bent down, and set it free. You were devastated and spent the next several days crying and bemoaning the fact that Dad and I wouldn't let you get a pet. Seeing how happy you were with that bunny and how devastated you were to let it go made me think maybe we SHOULD finally consent to letting you get a pet. I KNOW you would be a loving, responsible pet owner. You've certainly proven that. But when I approached Daddy with it again, he was still adamant about not getting one. I'm sorry Shuggie. I truly look forward to the day when you DO get your first pet. You really are amazing with animals.
You are also SO good with little kids. You LOVE to babysit and went around last school year begging all of your teachers with little kids to go on dates so that you could babysit. And when you DID babysit, you did SUCH a good job. I was so proud of you!! You are only 11, but handled everything like a pro! You changed and fed the babies and entertained the kids all on your own without my having to worry about anything. Wow.
In the last several months, you managed to save your own money to go on two horse rides up at C&M stables and I was so proud of you for doing that. You are interested in a million other things as well. You are still doing gymnastics and often go early and/or stay late to help Deena and Brit with the other classes. You also played soccer and basketball this year and were one of the leading players on both teams. You tell me you are going to try track this coming school year so that will be exciting to watch as well! You are one STRONG girl, and always have been. You've always been able to make it to the top of the rope at the gym and recently--while waiting to obtain a physical at the middle school, you challenged a bunch of boys to arm wrestle you and beat them all. I wasn't surprised to hear it. :)
Along with your big personality, you're can also be pretty dramatic from time to time. When you're tired and get worked up about something, it can turn into a mess pretty quickly sometimes. I think you have the loudest, biggest tears I have ever seen. Ha!
So many times I have also been astonished at your level of integrity. I have watched you work through conflict with your friends and stand up for what you believe in. Recently, I went upstairs to watch TV and found that someone had been watching a program that I wouldn't have approved. I went downstairs and asked all of you who had been watching it. None of you confessed. Later, however, you came to me privately to tell me you thought it was you. I was so impressed and thanked you for telling me. I also reminded you to ask me to watch anything you're not sure I would approve. Afterwards, I thought about the fact that you clearly had not finished watching the show (which was why I had gotten the " Continue watching?" message) and wondered if your own innate sense of integrity had been what had led you to turn it off in the first place. Is that right? Either way, I was--and still am--so proud of you.
Also, several months ago, you and I had occasion to drive over to Eugene by ourselves. As we were leaving town, you offered to say a prayer for our safety. I had not thought to do so, but was certainly happy to receive your offer. As I drove, you prayed aloud that we would be watched over and kept safe as we drove. By the time we drove home later on, I was very tired and knew that it was unsafe for me to be driving. Because of my impatience to get home, however, I never pulled over as I should have. As we pulled into town, I remember feeling the impression that we had been protected because of your prayer. Thank you, Shuggie. I love you, girl.
Sunday, June 30, 2019
A Note to My Kids : Jane
Just wanted to note here that the words I addressed to Jane, I saved as a draft so as to respect her privacy.
Tuesday, February 27, 2018
A Note To My Kids (Camp)
Dear Camp, Jane, Danin and Skip,
I haven't done this in a while--write to you--so I'm doing it now. There are so many things I want to tell you--and even more--so many things I want to remember about you that I'm terrified I will forget. As you well know, I am not a worrier. I worry about things far less than I probably ought to. But for some reason, I do worry that I am losing my memory--that it will continue to get worse and worse until I can no longer remember all of the things I would never have wanted to forget.. I'm paranoid about it. I have been ever since my book club read two books about memory loss. But anyway...
These are some of the things I want to remember:
Camp. One minute ago (literally) we were arguing. You got your phone taken away a week or so ago, and I just told you you wouldn't be getting it back for a while. (You continue to struggle with being disrespectful to Dad and me and we continue to have to fight you to get your assignments all turned it and on time) You want to hash it out, but I am not going to. You are a lot like me in many ways. You want to talk everything out. I know now, from experiencing this with you, what Dad has felt all these years. I am sorry you inherited this trait from me. For what it's worth, though, I think my words are are also one of my greatest strengths. Maybe they'll be yours as well. It all depends on how we use them. You may likely also have inherited your tendency to be disrespectful from me. I was grounded for much of my childhood for being disrespectful. Unfortunately for you, this does not mean that your actions will be excused or go unpunished. What it really means, is just that maybe I can better understand you and still be confident that you will continue to become an amazing man. Because you will. I am sure of it. You already are amazing. When I think about you, I am amazed that you are my son. I love the person you are. You are such a good, fun, talented kid. You bring so much joy and fulfillment to my life.
You are 14 now which means you've started going to dances. And man, you love them. I encourage you to ask a lot of girls to dance--especially girls who wouldn't otherwise be asked--and I hope you are taking this advice. I think you are, and I love you for it. You have a distinct style. Last summer, before this school year began, was the first time you did your own school-clothes shopping. It was so surreal to see the 80's style jeans and shirts you came home with. Am I really old enough to be seeing styles cycle through again? And I've always said you can tell a boy has started liking girls when he starts combing his hair. Well, you've been liking girls for a while now. ;) At this point, you have a very specific hair routine. You come into my bathroom--always MY ( I mean Dad's and my) bathroom-- and put your whole head in the sink. After you wet all of your hair, you use my coral and blue World Market hand towel to dry it, and then you blow dry it and walk out with your head tilted to one side so that it dries just the way you like it. I got you your first cologne for Christmas and you wear it pretty faithfully. I asked you if girls ever comment on it and you said just about every day. Right now you and Lauren have a "thing" (at least you did last time I read your texts). I reviewed our rules with you about not holding hands or kissing until you're sixteen. Sarah says there's no way your not holding hands if you have a "thing." I hope she's wrong--not because holding hands is bad or because if you are holding hands it means anything--but because I asked you if you were and you said no. I want you to be honest with me, and I want you to feel comfortable telling me stuff like this. And, truth be told, I do think you should wait. That's what our leaders teach us to do and I believe it is really good counsel. And believe me, Camp. No one was ever worse off for waiting.
You loooooovvvveee to have your back rubbed--and your hands, too. You would have me rub your feet as well, but that's where I draw the line. I only do that for Dad. Whenever it is your night to have me lie with you, you have me rub your back. When it's not your night, you will often still try to get me to do it, so i'll try to avoid going into your room because of it. If by chance, you do catch me tiptoeing out after checking on Skip or whatever, you'll whisper quickly, "Mama. Will you rub my back just for one minute?" And I'll groan and tell you no, and then you'll keep asking until sometimes I agree to a few seconds of it. Sometimes, as I'm finishing, you'll stick out a hand to be rubbed as well and I'll groan again. I'm sorry I have done this so begrudgingly, Buddy. I hope that despite how much I do not enjoy massaging people, you know I DO love that you ask me to do it. I do love that every Sunday, you'll try to find your way next to me on the bench in hopes that I'll rub your back. Does it hurt your feelings when I turn your down? Often, you'll take my left arm and put it around your neck as a request. I hate you for it and love you for it at the same time. ;)
You've become very athletic and are an important part of the teams you play on. You go around shooting imaginary hoops and juking imaginary defenders just like Grandpa always has. And I looooovve to watch you play sports. It wasn't that long ago that Daddy and I were watching you in one of your Boys and Girls Club basketball games and you were so distracted and disengaged. We knew you were thinking about Harry Potter. You're not thinking about that any more. Your head is definitely in the game. Track is coming up soon and you are so excited. I am excited too. You just got your new white and black track shoes and you have worn them around the house all day.
You talk to me. You tell me jokes and about funny things that you see and about conversations. You take me through plays that happen in your games. You retell me things you learn at school and elsewhere (Like youTube :)) I love all these words. Thank you for them!
You are confident. This is one of the qualities I most admire in you. It is the one quality I wish I could give to my 14-year-old self. It is such a blessing and a gift. You are comfortable with yourself and that makes you a leader. Erin told me when you were very young that you were a natural leader. I hate to admit that I couldn't totally see it at that time. But I definitely see it now. She was right. You ARE a leader. And like Dad and I have told you, that means you have a very large responsibility. You have the power to either lead others to good, or lead them to bad. I hope you always take this responsibility seriously.
You are such a good kid. I know this because you are my son.....and because I read your texts :) I see that you want to be good. You want to do what is right. You are definitely a normal kid with weaknesses and temptations, but you are on the right track and I am sooooo grateful. Please continue on that road.
Even though we argue a lot these days and experience a fair amount of conflict, I hope you know how much Dad and I love you and how proud we are of the person you are becoming. What a cool kid you are! We have people telling us that all the time, and we know it to be true. Love you, Baby.
I haven't done this in a while--write to you--so I'm doing it now. There are so many things I want to tell you--and even more--so many things I want to remember about you that I'm terrified I will forget. As you well know, I am not a worrier. I worry about things far less than I probably ought to. But for some reason, I do worry that I am losing my memory--that it will continue to get worse and worse until I can no longer remember all of the things I would never have wanted to forget.. I'm paranoid about it. I have been ever since my book club read two books about memory loss. But anyway...
These are some of the things I want to remember:
Camp. One minute ago (literally) we were arguing. You got your phone taken away a week or so ago, and I just told you you wouldn't be getting it back for a while. (You continue to struggle with being disrespectful to Dad and me and we continue to have to fight you to get your assignments all turned it and on time) You want to hash it out, but I am not going to. You are a lot like me in many ways. You want to talk everything out. I know now, from experiencing this with you, what Dad has felt all these years. I am sorry you inherited this trait from me. For what it's worth, though, I think my words are are also one of my greatest strengths. Maybe they'll be yours as well. It all depends on how we use them. You may likely also have inherited your tendency to be disrespectful from me. I was grounded for much of my childhood for being disrespectful. Unfortunately for you, this does not mean that your actions will be excused or go unpunished. What it really means, is just that maybe I can better understand you and still be confident that you will continue to become an amazing man. Because you will. I am sure of it. You already are amazing. When I think about you, I am amazed that you are my son. I love the person you are. You are such a good, fun, talented kid. You bring so much joy and fulfillment to my life.
You are 14 now which means you've started going to dances. And man, you love them. I encourage you to ask a lot of girls to dance--especially girls who wouldn't otherwise be asked--and I hope you are taking this advice. I think you are, and I love you for it. You have a distinct style. Last summer, before this school year began, was the first time you did your own school-clothes shopping. It was so surreal to see the 80's style jeans and shirts you came home with. Am I really old enough to be seeing styles cycle through again? And I've always said you can tell a boy has started liking girls when he starts combing his hair. Well, you've been liking girls for a while now. ;) At this point, you have a very specific hair routine. You come into my bathroom--always MY ( I mean Dad's and my) bathroom-- and put your whole head in the sink. After you wet all of your hair, you use my coral and blue World Market hand towel to dry it, and then you blow dry it and walk out with your head tilted to one side so that it dries just the way you like it. I got you your first cologne for Christmas and you wear it pretty faithfully. I asked you if girls ever comment on it and you said just about every day. Right now you and Lauren have a "thing" (at least you did last time I read your texts). I reviewed our rules with you about not holding hands or kissing until you're sixteen. Sarah says there's no way your not holding hands if you have a "thing." I hope she's wrong--not because holding hands is bad or because if you are holding hands it means anything--but because I asked you if you were and you said no. I want you to be honest with me, and I want you to feel comfortable telling me stuff like this. And, truth be told, I do think you should wait. That's what our leaders teach us to do and I believe it is really good counsel. And believe me, Camp. No one was ever worse off for waiting.
You loooooovvvveee to have your back rubbed--and your hands, too. You would have me rub your feet as well, but that's where I draw the line. I only do that for Dad. Whenever it is your night to have me lie with you, you have me rub your back. When it's not your night, you will often still try to get me to do it, so i'll try to avoid going into your room because of it. If by chance, you do catch me tiptoeing out after checking on Skip or whatever, you'll whisper quickly, "Mama. Will you rub my back just for one minute?" And I'll groan and tell you no, and then you'll keep asking until sometimes I agree to a few seconds of it. Sometimes, as I'm finishing, you'll stick out a hand to be rubbed as well and I'll groan again. I'm sorry I have done this so begrudgingly, Buddy. I hope that despite how much I do not enjoy massaging people, you know I DO love that you ask me to do it. I do love that every Sunday, you'll try to find your way next to me on the bench in hopes that I'll rub your back. Does it hurt your feelings when I turn your down? Often, you'll take my left arm and put it around your neck as a request. I hate you for it and love you for it at the same time. ;)
You've become very athletic and are an important part of the teams you play on. You go around shooting imaginary hoops and juking imaginary defenders just like Grandpa always has. And I looooovve to watch you play sports. It wasn't that long ago that Daddy and I were watching you in one of your Boys and Girls Club basketball games and you were so distracted and disengaged. We knew you were thinking about Harry Potter. You're not thinking about that any more. Your head is definitely in the game. Track is coming up soon and you are so excited. I am excited too. You just got your new white and black track shoes and you have worn them around the house all day.
You talk to me. You tell me jokes and about funny things that you see and about conversations. You take me through plays that happen in your games. You retell me things you learn at school and elsewhere (Like youTube :)) I love all these words. Thank you for them!
You are confident. This is one of the qualities I most admire in you. It is the one quality I wish I could give to my 14-year-old self. It is such a blessing and a gift. You are comfortable with yourself and that makes you a leader. Erin told me when you were very young that you were a natural leader. I hate to admit that I couldn't totally see it at that time. But I definitely see it now. She was right. You ARE a leader. And like Dad and I have told you, that means you have a very large responsibility. You have the power to either lead others to good, or lead them to bad. I hope you always take this responsibility seriously.
You are such a good kid. I know this because you are my son.....and because I read your texts :) I see that you want to be good. You want to do what is right. You are definitely a normal kid with weaknesses and temptations, but you are on the right track and I am sooooo grateful. Please continue on that road.
Even though we argue a lot these days and experience a fair amount of conflict, I hope you know how much Dad and I love you and how proud we are of the person you are becoming. What a cool kid you are! We have people telling us that all the time, and we know it to be true. Love you, Baby.
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
Kissing (Part 1)
Being Valentine's Day and all, I thought it appropriate to write about kissing.
Have I already written about this??
I was boy crazy from my earliest memories. I remember every boy I've ever loved (liked), starting in kindergarten:
Justin Bigger
mexican kid from school (i don't remember his name.)
Mark Wilkins
Steven Perkowski
Jess Warren
Patrick Hutchison
Joseph Terry
Kenny Sorensen
John Hardy
and of course, Brian Lacouture
.....just to name a few.
Interestingly, though, I never really had a thing for kissing boys. Kissing, (or rather, the IDEA of kissing) terrified me. It always seemed like to everyone else, it was such a normal, natural thing. But to me? Totally awkward and terrifying. Maybe I should have watched more kissing movies.
The fact is, I was never in a position to kiss a boy until I was 16 and had my first boyfriend. And I was absolutely terrified to kiss him. Anytime we got into one of those kissy situations where our faces were close together, I would always just get nervous and dodgy. And Sarah had somehow figured out that part of what terrified me about kissing was having to tell my mom about it. I knew she would ask me, and I couldn't lie to her.
One night, Joseph and I were talking on the phone and the conversation kinda led to when in the heck we were going to kiss. I don't know what kind of excuses I was coming up with or what I was saying. All I remember is Sarah barging into the room (she must have been listening in on our conversation) and saying, "Ann, you just need Mom to give you permission to kiss Josepsh!"
To which I replied, "No, I don't!"
And she said "Yes, you do!" And then started hollering for my mom. When my mom got to my bedroom, Sarah blurted out, "Mom, Ann needs you to give her permission to kiss Joseph!"
And my mom repeated, "Ann, do you need permission to kiss Joseph?"
And I replied, "Yes!" Turns out I did need that permission. I just needed to know it was ok with my mom for me to be kissing boys. :)
A couple days later when Joseph kissed me for the first time--and it was probably the most awkward peck ever, my fault--the first thing my mom asked me when I went inside was, "Did he kiss you?" and then, "Did you like it?" What kind of mom asks that question? An awesome one. That's what kind.
But ANYWAY... after going through a couple months dating Joseph and then Justin and still being totally terrified of kissing (how do you do it? Do we stare into each other's eyes first? Do I wait for him to touch my face first or do I meet him half way? Do I turn my head left or right? What if we bonk noses?? What if he opens his mouth? What if he uses his tongue?????) I decided that one way or another I was going to have to get over that fear, and learn how to handle the whole thing. I mean, I did plan on having kids someday....
So one day, I happened upon an article in The Reader's Digest that would change my (kissing) life. It outlined a study that had been done with shooting free throws. In the study, there were three groups--one control group and two experimental groups. The object of the study was to determine which randomized group would make the most baskets while shooting free throws at the end of the experimental period. The procedure was as follows: Over a given period of time, one group of people would physically practice free throws for a specified amount of time every day. The second group would visually practice free throws for that same amount of time--in other words, they would be guided in visualizing everything about shooting free throws: where you would stand, where you were looking when you released the ball, how the ball looked flying through the air, how the ball would hit the backboard, etc. And the control group didn't do anything. At the end of the experimental period, all the groups had to shoot free throws and the number of baskets were recorded. The conclusion of the study was that the group that did the visualizing was able to make the most baskets. So interesting, right?
Well, I decided that if the whole visualizing thing worked with free throws, then surely it would also work with kissing. So I started setting aside time to visualize kissing. No joke. I would imagine being in the kissy situation (you know the kind--with the look and stuff) and then I would imagine which way I would turn my face, how we would come together. How our lips would make contact, etc.
After I had been going through these exercises for a while, Brian asked me to be his girlfriend, and I knew my visualizing would be put to the test. He told me later that Justin had made the comment to him, "I hope you're not planning to get any action with Ann. You're going to be disappointed!" Oh brother.
But anyway, I couldn't stand the thought of waiting for, and then being in, that horrible kissy situation, so I just decided that armed with the visualization skills I had acquired, I was just going to take matters into my own hands and plant one on him before there was any time for things to be awkward. And man, that's gotta be one of the finer decisions of my life. It worked like a champ.
Turns out, Meghan and Justin were watching the whole thing go down from across the street in Meghan's house. Ha! I shocked the socks off them! (Remember that, Meg??)
So anyway....
Have I already written about this??
I was boy crazy from my earliest memories. I remember every boy I've ever loved (liked), starting in kindergarten:
Justin Bigger
mexican kid from school (i don't remember his name.)
Mark Wilkins
Steven Perkowski
Jess Warren
Patrick Hutchison
Joseph Terry
Kenny Sorensen
John Hardy
and of course, Brian Lacouture
.....just to name a few.
Interestingly, though, I never really had a thing for kissing boys. Kissing, (or rather, the IDEA of kissing) terrified me. It always seemed like to everyone else, it was such a normal, natural thing. But to me? Totally awkward and terrifying. Maybe I should have watched more kissing movies.
The fact is, I was never in a position to kiss a boy until I was 16 and had my first boyfriend. And I was absolutely terrified to kiss him. Anytime we got into one of those kissy situations where our faces were close together, I would always just get nervous and dodgy. And Sarah had somehow figured out that part of what terrified me about kissing was having to tell my mom about it. I knew she would ask me, and I couldn't lie to her.
One night, Joseph and I were talking on the phone and the conversation kinda led to when in the heck we were going to kiss. I don't know what kind of excuses I was coming up with or what I was saying. All I remember is Sarah barging into the room (she must have been listening in on our conversation) and saying, "Ann, you just need Mom to give you permission to kiss Josepsh!"
To which I replied, "No, I don't!"
And she said "Yes, you do!" And then started hollering for my mom. When my mom got to my bedroom, Sarah blurted out, "Mom, Ann needs you to give her permission to kiss Joseph!"
And my mom repeated, "Ann, do you need permission to kiss Joseph?"
And I replied, "Yes!" Turns out I did need that permission. I just needed to know it was ok with my mom for me to be kissing boys. :)
A couple days later when Joseph kissed me for the first time--and it was probably the most awkward peck ever, my fault--the first thing my mom asked me when I went inside was, "Did he kiss you?" and then, "Did you like it?" What kind of mom asks that question? An awesome one. That's what kind.
But ANYWAY... after going through a couple months dating Joseph and then Justin and still being totally terrified of kissing (how do you do it? Do we stare into each other's eyes first? Do I wait for him to touch my face first or do I meet him half way? Do I turn my head left or right? What if we bonk noses?? What if he opens his mouth? What if he uses his tongue?????) I decided that one way or another I was going to have to get over that fear, and learn how to handle the whole thing. I mean, I did plan on having kids someday....
So one day, I happened upon an article in The Reader's Digest that would change my (kissing) life. It outlined a study that had been done with shooting free throws. In the study, there were three groups--one control group and two experimental groups. The object of the study was to determine which randomized group would make the most baskets while shooting free throws at the end of the experimental period. The procedure was as follows: Over a given period of time, one group of people would physically practice free throws for a specified amount of time every day. The second group would visually practice free throws for that same amount of time--in other words, they would be guided in visualizing everything about shooting free throws: where you would stand, where you were looking when you released the ball, how the ball looked flying through the air, how the ball would hit the backboard, etc. And the control group didn't do anything. At the end of the experimental period, all the groups had to shoot free throws and the number of baskets were recorded. The conclusion of the study was that the group that did the visualizing was able to make the most baskets. So interesting, right?
Well, I decided that if the whole visualizing thing worked with free throws, then surely it would also work with kissing. So I started setting aside time to visualize kissing. No joke. I would imagine being in the kissy situation (you know the kind--with the look and stuff) and then I would imagine which way I would turn my face, how we would come together. How our lips would make contact, etc.
After I had been going through these exercises for a while, Brian asked me to be his girlfriend, and I knew my visualizing would be put to the test. He told me later that Justin had made the comment to him, "I hope you're not planning to get any action with Ann. You're going to be disappointed!" Oh brother.
But anyway, I couldn't stand the thought of waiting for, and then being in, that horrible kissy situation, so I just decided that armed with the visualization skills I had acquired, I was just going to take matters into my own hands and plant one on him before there was any time for things to be awkward. And man, that's gotta be one of the finer decisions of my life. It worked like a champ.
Turns out, Meghan and Justin were watching the whole thing go down from across the street in Meghan's house. Ha! I shocked the socks off them! (Remember that, Meg??)
So anyway....
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
Christmas Magic
Well, I managed to run into a little Christmas magic just in the nick of time. This shouldn't surprise me. After all, it seems like every year, right before Christmas--like on the 22nd or 23rd--I finally find the magic I've been looking for. This year, it happened like this:
Ever since like 2014 (when we almost skipped Christmas because we were so bad) we have done a Christmas service project on Christmas day. And it has been truly wonderful--seriously. This year, on the Saturday before Christmas (the 23rd?) Brian texted a bunch of people and invited them to join us at the Stone's house for some service. Brian led a crew of men helping Mark tear the remaining old shingles off the house and begin work on the new trim and siding, and another large group of us worked in the yard. There were so many wonderful people there who answered thecall text and came ready and eager to work. The kids all worked happily alongside their friends and it was just so wonderful.
While we were working, Nancy texted to ask if anyone wanted to come to her house for lunch. When we were finished, Liz Hughes and Chad Clement and I decided to take her up on her offer, so we (and all of our kids) headed over there, left our dirty boots at the door and went in to enjoy lunch together. Nancy's house is so fun anyway, but with all of us piled in there with her family, it was especially...magical. She whipped us up a lunch of hot dogs, hamburgers, chips and dip, and ice-cream and we all sat around eating and visiting.
After we left, the kids and I headed home (Brian was still working at the Stone's.) I cleaned up a bit and made some Italian sausage vegetable soup and sugar cookies. The kids helped me with the cookies and worked on art projects in the office.
Later on, the kids and I piled into the car and headed out to Londi's house for a Christmas open-house. Have you ever been to Londi's house? It is an awesome a-frame cabin in the forest that smells like Christmas all year long. So perfect.
When we got home, we had an informal open house of our own. The Wondras, Mitchells, Jensens, and Hughes all stopped in to have some soup and cookies and hang out for a while.
Anyway, like I said, the day was magical. I was surrounded by people I love--all having fun--and celebrating Christmas.
Perhaps one of the biggest contributors to that day being so special, though, was the fact that Brian was happy. Unfortunately, these days, Brian doesn't seem happy very often. But that day, he seemed happy. He was doing his thing--working and serving--and he seemed happy. He wasn't with us at Nancy's or Londi's houses, and I wasn't with him for most of the day, but he was in the back ground, happy, and that made all the difference. It was an answer to my prayers--the best of my Christmas gifts.
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On Christmas day, after we opened gifts and Brian and I had a nap, our family headed back over to the Stone's to finish up by spreading bark in the yard and then we headed over to the park to play.
Ever since like 2014 (when we almost skipped Christmas because we were so bad) we have done a Christmas service project on Christmas day. And it has been truly wonderful--seriously. This year, on the Saturday before Christmas (the 23rd?) Brian texted a bunch of people and invited them to join us at the Stone's house for some service. Brian led a crew of men helping Mark tear the remaining old shingles off the house and begin work on the new trim and siding, and another large group of us worked in the yard. There were so many wonderful people there who answered the
While we were working, Nancy texted to ask if anyone wanted to come to her house for lunch. When we were finished, Liz Hughes and Chad Clement and I decided to take her up on her offer, so we (and all of our kids) headed over there, left our dirty boots at the door and went in to enjoy lunch together. Nancy's house is so fun anyway, but with all of us piled in there with her family, it was especially...magical. She whipped us up a lunch of hot dogs, hamburgers, chips and dip, and ice-cream and we all sat around eating and visiting.
After we left, the kids and I headed home (Brian was still working at the Stone's.) I cleaned up a bit and made some Italian sausage vegetable soup and sugar cookies. The kids helped me with the cookies and worked on art projects in the office.
Later on, the kids and I piled into the car and headed out to Londi's house for a Christmas open-house. Have you ever been to Londi's house? It is an awesome a-frame cabin in the forest that smells like Christmas all year long. So perfect.
When we got home, we had an informal open house of our own. The Wondras, Mitchells, Jensens, and Hughes all stopped in to have some soup and cookies and hang out for a while.
Anyway, like I said, the day was magical. I was surrounded by people I love--all having fun--and celebrating Christmas.
Perhaps one of the biggest contributors to that day being so special, though, was the fact that Brian was happy. Unfortunately, these days, Brian doesn't seem happy very often. But that day, he seemed happy. He was doing his thing--working and serving--and he seemed happy. He wasn't with us at Nancy's or Londi's houses, and I wasn't with him for most of the day, but he was in the back ground, happy, and that made all the difference. It was an answer to my prayers--the best of my Christmas gifts.
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On Christmas day, after we opened gifts and Brian and I had a nap, our family headed back over to the Stone's to finish up by spreading bark in the yard and then we headed over to the park to play.
Sunday, December 24, 2017
Merry Christmas
December 4, 2017
Dear Family and Friends,
I’m sitting at my computer with Christmas music playing softly as I write. My Christmas playlist has been playing all evening. It was playing just now as I had a screaming match with Danin and then dragged her to her room, literally. I’m 39 years old now, but still not mature enough to use more discipline than a child…. :(
I was out of control. I immediately felt regret and disappointment and went to the freezer for some peppermint ice cream to self-medicate, and then I came into the office to clean. (Man this office is a mess.) As I was cleaning up the Christmas books scattered across the floor, I opened one called “O Christmas Three” and read the words of Leo Tolstoy, “Where love is, there God is also.” So true, Leo. So true. Sigh….
Last year I described how every year, I go wondering through December looking for Christmas, as they say. And man, I tell ya—it can be hard to find. I’m always searching for the magic that is Christmas—and trying my best to create it—but man, it can be hard. I feel like I’ve spent the last year thinking about it and have finally come to some conclusions. The magic of Christmas, for me, comes when there is love…and peace..in my home and in my family. As I’ve thought about it, all of the magical moments of my life can be characterized by the presence of love and peace—moments when everyone is laughing and smiling and having fun. They are moments of forgiveness and tolerance—when relationships are strong and steady and we are all enjoying being together. You know? So you add to one of those moments a spattering of chiming bells, sparkling lights, and holiday fragrances, and you’ve got yourself some Christmas magic—a simple recipe, but still so difficult to cook up sometimes.
So anyway…
Other than our daily failures (but continued efforts!) to create and preserve peace in our home, we continue to be blessed with the normal struggles of a normal family: learning to put on CLEAN underwear after a shower; learning to PUT ON underwear in the first place (insert eye-rolling emoji here); learning not to tease; learning not to react to teasing; learning to keep our mouths shut—you know, all the basics. We’ve got kids who are playing sports, wearing mascara (say wha??), singing, dancing and reading books. We’ve got kids who are healthy and fun. We’ve got all we could really want.
I really am so grateful for all I have. I’m especially grateful for the opportunity I continue to have to be loved and to feel intense love. It’s an incredible blessing to love someone so much you feel like your heart really could beat right out of your chest. I love that line from Les Mis that says “to love another person is to see the face of God.” Victor Hugo and Leo Tolstoy, man…smart guys..
Merry Christmas, everyone. May we all find it this year.
Love,
Ann
Monday, November 6, 2017
What I Pray
Way back when my wedding day was approaching, I began to be a little concerned by the fact that I wasn't all that excited to have sex. To me, hugging and kissing and cuddling and all that stuff was plenty fun, and I didn't really care to do any more than that. Just the prospect of sleeping in a bed with Brian was exciting enough for me. Weird? Well anyway, as our wedding day grew nearer, I started panicking a little that I wouldn't be ready to have sex--that I wouldn't want it and thus I would ruin the whole thing. You know? And I figured it was mostly God's fault since it was he who had invented sex and sex drive in the first place. So anyway, I felt totally comfortable adding "and pleeeeaaaassseee help me to want to have sex" to my prayers every day. I prayed that everyday for like the last week or so of my engagement. And you know what? It worked. On my wedding day, I was ready to go. :)
Why am I thinking about this? Because this is the first November of my entire life where I have not been super excited to start decorating/planning/shopping for Christmas. I love Christmas more than anyone I know. For real. I am crazy about it. But this year? I'm not feeling it. Breaking out all my Christmas bins seems overwhelming, I haven't decided if I want to throw my Favorite Things Party (and it's normally the only day of the year I am fun!), and last weekend I spent two whole days shopping with some of my girlfriends and I didn't buy one single Christmas item. Not one. I think something bad is happening to me.
It's really devastating for me. So I'm going to pray about it. I'm going to start asking Heavenly Father to help me want Christmas... You might be thinking that it would be better for me to forgo all that materialistic stuff anyway, because that's not what Christmas is all about; and I get that. But it's just that for me-- its that same excitement and energy that makes me decorate and shop that makes me serve and seek the true Christmas spirit as well. You know what I mean? It's all the same thing for me.
I'm wondering if the reason I'm not particularly excited for the Christmas season is that I am lacking love in general. I have let my heart turn a bit cold, if you will. I haven't exercised my love enough, and now it is weak and bearing little fruit.
So I will try and draw nearer to the Lord, I will ask to be filled with His love--and I will hope that by doing so, I will start to get excited for Christmas.
Why am I thinking about this? Because this is the first November of my entire life where I have not been super excited to start decorating/planning/shopping for Christmas. I love Christmas more than anyone I know. For real. I am crazy about it. But this year? I'm not feeling it. Breaking out all my Christmas bins seems overwhelming, I haven't decided if I want to throw my Favorite Things Party (and it's normally the only day of the year I am fun!), and last weekend I spent two whole days shopping with some of my girlfriends and I didn't buy one single Christmas item. Not one. I think something bad is happening to me.
It's really devastating for me. So I'm going to pray about it. I'm going to start asking Heavenly Father to help me want Christmas... You might be thinking that it would be better for me to forgo all that materialistic stuff anyway, because that's not what Christmas is all about; and I get that. But it's just that for me-- its that same excitement and energy that makes me decorate and shop that makes me serve and seek the true Christmas spirit as well. You know what I mean? It's all the same thing for me.
I'm wondering if the reason I'm not particularly excited for the Christmas season is that I am lacking love in general. I have let my heart turn a bit cold, if you will. I haven't exercised my love enough, and now it is weak and bearing little fruit.
So I will try and draw nearer to the Lord, I will ask to be filled with His love--and I will hope that by doing so, I will start to get excited for Christmas.
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