Almost there

I'm glad you thought it was funny that I wet my pants at the park. I'm just hoping you would continue to laugh if I told you that I wet my pants again-- this time on the treadmill at the gym as I was nearing four miles. I need help? Pleeeaaase. Tell me something I don't already know. Needless to say, I was doing kegels like a crazy woman all the way home from the temple yesterday, which is like three hours. And no, I did not go to the temple seeking answers regarding my pelvic floor muscles. Can you imagine what would happen to me if I had another baby before getting back "in shape" down there? I'd be wearing bloody depends at the tender age of 30! Anyway...




Oh my heavens. I'm so excited to start working in my yard again. I always liked working in the front yard as a kid. I remember planting a lawn for the first time in our Prince Lane house and not being able to wait to mow that bad boy. I remember that these little tufts of bright green grass would start to push up little patches of the manure and there was little I could do to keep myself from popping the little cow pies off the top of the tufts, because I was so excited to see the grass. Doing that was really bad because the grass was still very fragile and not ready to be exposed to the sun. The tops of the blades of grass were white, and left unbothered by weird ten-year- old girls, would eventually become green and strong and push through the manure when they were good and ready. Anyway, mowing a nice green lawn has always given me the same high (if not more, because of the chance of getting some sun) that vacuuming does. I can hardly get enough of it. So I'm just super excited that the time of year has come when we can start mowing the lawn and planing flowers again! (Brian usually mows the lawn--and that's the way he prefers it, so if I want to do it, I have to do it while he is away. I guess my lawn mowing skills are not quite up to his standard.) I just recently went to Costco and got my first round of little color spots for my yard. Oh, and I got the most darling little miniature Canadian spruce trees to put on either side of our garage. (I can't wait to have a house whose garage does not face the front.) They have this bright green fuzzy new growth all over them that is so fabulous. I had planned on shaping them into topiaries, but now I'm thinking I may just leave them the way they are. What do you think?




And Camp had a good ol' time making a fort--pardon me--a "squirrel trap" in our yard the other day. Can you see the duct tape with the leaves stuck to it? I know it all makes our yard look like the ghetto, but it is so worth it to have Camp playing outside. Isn't that the kind of stuff that little boys are supposed to do? I love it.

Progress

So I haven't been able to come up with anything to write about lately. Why is it that sometimes I can't fit all of my thoughts in my head, and sometimes I'm just wishing there were any up there.
Things are good with us. We are all healthy and happy and Brian continues to have the work he needs to provide for us. We have felt so grateful for the work that Brian has had--especially considering the nature and the origin of this recession. For the last several months, he has been the general on the new dentist office of our good friend (and next-door neighbor) Brian Holmes. I swear, Brian and Tammy Holmes would be able to get into heaven just because of the wonderful things they have done for our family. I've always considered them our benefactors. They have always had work for us when it has been needed and they have been so amazingly generous to us in so many ways. I can't wait until the day when Brian and I are able to do for someone else what Brian and Tammy Holmes have done for us...
Speaking of Brian and Tammy and their generosity...Every year they give Brian and me tickets to attend the Rotary Auction and Dinner. Many years they have not even been in town to attend themselves, so they have just gotten us a bunch of tickets to give to other couples to attend with us. Anyway, this year they were able to make it, so we attended it with them and two other couples they had invited. So we're sitting there at the table a couple weekends ago and I experienced the same scenario that has been played out so many times in my life--I am chomping away at my food and the thought occurs to me to take a breath and look around at the other plates at the table...Did everyone get their food at the same time? Yep. Did everyone get about the same amount of food? Yep. So what a strange phenomenon it is that my plate always seems to be nearly empty so much sooner than everyone else's! I've told you before how much I eat--and that is embarrassing enough. But the fact that I eat as fast as I do is almost more embarrassing. Why haven't I yet been able to establish a relationship of trust with my food? My food has always remained faithfully on my plate--even when I have bent over to scratch my ankle or paused to get a drink of water or speak for a moment, etc., but still I find myself obviously subconsciously worrying that my food is going to run out on me. I just don't understand it. What I do understand is that being a mother has not helped the problem. I find that I have about a 30 second window in which to eat my own food--the time between my filling the last person's plate and everyone needing more cheese, a refill, a spill wiped up, a smaller fork--you all know how it works. But anyway, that is beside the point. I still need to slow it down BIG TIME. And it's always these times of self-reflection that the haunting words of my parents echo in the back of my head...Learn how to whisper! Learn to treasure silence! Take smaller bites! Take smaller bites! That's it! Why haven't I ever listened? I don't know, but I'm going to start.
And last week wasn't the greatest of weeks. I was in charge of an Enrichment Activity (which went well--I think) which is always a bit stressful. But I don't think that was it. I think it was the fact that I wet my pants while we were at the park. I had just left Brian's shop--checking the progress of the armoire--and had decided to let Jane and Danin play at the park in the half hour or so we had before needing to pick Camp up from preschool. And as I was getting out of the van, I realized that I really needed to go the bathroom. (By the way, this story is a perfect example of why doing those Kegel exercise things would really have been a good idea for me. Anyway...) The thing was, the bathroom was like 100 yards away, and it is NASTY. I would have had to hold Jane and Danin on top of me while I emptied just so that they didn't touch anything. It's seriously sick. And they don't have soap. Sooooooo, I just did what any resourceful mother would have done--I looked around to make sure the coast was clear and then I squatted down right there by the van and started letting it go. The only problem was that the coast suddenly became unclear (is that what you'd say?)and I had to try and whip my pants back up in time to spare some innocent passers by an indecent exposure. So anyway, because my muscles down there are shot, the urine just continued down my leg, all over my pants and into my sock and shoe. Nice. Unlucky for me, I had forgotten the diaper bag with the change of clothes FOR ME inside it, so I did again what any person would to do and I climbed back into the van, took off my wet clothes, and drove home half naked. Thankfully, I did not get pulled over for speeding like I did a month or so ago. That would have been interesting... And I know--the irony of the situation is perplexing even to me. I don't want to go potty in a nasty bathroom with no soap, but I will readily pull my pants down and go right in the middle of a parking lot? And what kind of person does that, anyway?! Welp. I just happen to know the answer to that one: the same kind of person who inhales her food at the Rotary Dinner. Sigh. Another thing to work on in my quest to become amazing.
Thankfully, my Sunday was much better than my Friday, though. Justin and Rachel were visiting Chris and Sonya, so we got to join all of them for the day. Going to Chris and Sonya's ---especially while Justin and Rachel are visiting--always makes for a good time. There is tons of space and it is totally relaxing. Thanks, guys.







And the armoire? Oh, it's coming along just swimmingly. I think we've pretty much decided that we're going to rough it up a bit once it's done, but I still haven't decided for sure what color to stain it. At this point, I'm thinking maybe I'll stain it (or have Brian stain it, rather) the same color brown as the bookshelves but then put a black glaze over it. We'll see... It won't be long now!

I'm going to bed.

I really had good intentions to write something interesting tonight, but anything even remotely interesting escapes me at the moment, so I'm going to bed. I will tell you that my girls' reunion was as expected--fabulous--albeit a bit too short, and now I'm back to real life. A good life, thankfully.

P.S. Did I ever mention that Brian got me my own drill kit for Christmas? I LOVE it.

I've got connections.

I have to admit I've always felt a little bitter toward people with connections. (Jealousy alone could likely keep me out of heaven, if I'm not more careful...) Do I get free cookies because my family member owns a bakery? No. Did I never have to apply for a job because I was always able to work for my dad's company? No. Do I fly free because so-and-so that I know works for the airlines? No. Do my kids get lots of great hand-me-downs because I know some stylish person with kids just older than mine? No. Do I get free stuff and money for education because my grandpa was an Indian? (Dang it, Grandpa.) No. Do I have perfect, sparkling white teeth because my dad's a dentist? No. Do I get to go to fun, exciting places because I "know someone"? No. I take that back. I do know my mom, and I do get to visit her house this weekend with my sisters which will definitely be fun and exciting, but you know what I mean...Can you feel my bitterness?
But you know what? It turns out I've got the biggest hook-up a girl who loves to decorate could ever hope for--a husband who builds furniture. Man, I love it. And you know what he is working on now? A new armoire. I told you how Brian is saving for a big LCD TV, right? Well, I told him that the only way I will let him get one at all is if he builds a new armoire to house it. That's fair, right? So this is how it works. I draw a rough sketch of what I want, (or in this case, I find a picture in a magazine) and Brian drills me about every detail, and then he makes a real drawing to scale. Brian always gets a little frustrated at some point in the design phase, but I love it, and he loves it when he gets to start building. So anyway, here are some pictures of the design we've decided on. Brian is at the shop working away as we speak--I mean as I type...(The little sliver of an armoire to the far left in the magazine picture was my inspiration this time. Wouldn't it be rad to have a dark colored armoire in a kitchen of light cabinets? Brilliant! My aunt Deena taught me the coolness of accenting your primary cabinets with an island or section of decorative cabinets of a different stain or color. Someday...) I was thinking that Brian's sketches alone would be really cool decorative art in our home if I were to have them matted and framed really nicely. Anyway, I have no room to be bitter anymore. I feel like the luckiest girl alive. I'll post pictures of the finished product soon. Brian said he could be finished by April 2nd, on which day I will be hosting Book Club. Do any of you want to read A Girl Named Zippy with me? Sarah recommended it, so it's sure to be a winner, and I'd love to have you all join us.

P.S. I lied. I did have a connection one time. When I worked at the Gap, I was able to get some canvas-covered drawing books that had been used in props. Does anyone remember the yellow book?

Nightmare

I have a medical mystery for you. Does anyone know what the heck is all over Camp's arms? At first it was just a few main bumps that Camp kept scratching, but now it's like a full blown rash on both arms. I don't think it is an allergic reaction because it isn't on the rest of his body (although there are a few bumps that he scratches on the base of his neck in the back). Could it be extreme eczema? Please help!




















































And I'm just curious--Does every 16-month-old swing on a regular swing (and yelp until I push her higher) and do dog imitations, or is mine just gifted and talented? Yeah, that's what I thought.



And oh my heavens. I had the worst nightmare last night. I dreamed that one of my friends had asked me if she and her family could stop in at our house on their way to the temple this morning (or at least that is what I understood). I told her that would be fine, of course, but when i awoke the next morning (in my dream), I realized that I had somehow missed the details of her request. My entire family room and kitchen were filled with all of the members of her ward who were attending the temple trip--and they were expecting breakfast! Oh, crap! It was only after I totally panicked that I realized I was wearing my g bottoms and a sweatshirt. Oooh, that's cute. And I knew I only had enough milk and cereal for two or three people if I were lucky, so I began to get out the stuff to make waffles. After realizing that I didn't have enough of that stuff either, I sent Brian to the store in the hopes that he would return before everyone had been waiting too long. At some point, one of the youth asked me if they could make popcorn--to which, I replied, "Heck, no!" I knew that forty people, including youth, eating popcorn in my family room could only lead to grease all over my carpet and furniture. Later I realized that the group had brought along a huge carpet and coverings to cover up my carpet and furniture, so as not to dirty them. So nice! Luckily, it wasn't too long after I realized I had accidentally put a bunch of eggs into the drink that I awoke--moaning with relief.
As you would probably guess, this dream reveals a great deal about me. Namely, that my worst fear is having there not be enough food when I've got company over; that I'm kinda particular about what gets eaten outside my kitchen (hence, my kids rarely get popcorn) because I try to protect my carpet the best I can; and third, that I am going to the temple today, and I'm having people meet here to drive up with me.
But anyway, aside from that gruesome nightmare, my week has really been quite good. Brian's and my anniversary was on Tuesday, so we went out to eat here in town and then headed over to Eugene to see a movie, look at TV's at Costco, get Pizza Pipeline bread sticks, and spend the night. Did we leave the kids with babysitters? You're darn right we did! And it was fabulous! And like I said, I'm going to the temple (three hours away in Medford) today with the relief society while Brian stays home with the kids, so I've been pretty lucky.

Oh, and I have a really personal secret to share with you. If this doesn't make you feel close to me, I don't know what will. There is some sick part of me that kind of likes the taste of the flem that comes up my throat when I have a cough. Gross, huh? Maybe even a bit grosser than the fact that Janey has started to eat butter right from the container! Yuck!

Hope everyone else had a good week, too...

I'm almost there...

Welp. I've almost made it. I only have to wait four more days (my anniversary) until I can spend money on myself! The strange thing is: I'm not sure I'm going to want to. I've actually began to feel somewhat empowered by my efforts to save money. Meg, do you remember me coming over to hang out at your parents' house shortly after I was married? I remember sitting in the front yard while your parents were having a yard sale and talking to you and your sisters about how hard it had been for Brian and me to make and stick to a budget. I remember Sarah saying that at first it was hard for her and Lane to commit to a budget, but that once they did, it really made them feel more free and more secure. I wish it had been before now that I was finally able to really understand what she was saying. To our credit, living on a budget has been significantly less feasible for Brian and me than for most others because we have never been on a fixed income. Not only have we made different amounts of money every single month since we've been married, but we get paid totally randomly as well. So what I'm finally realizing is that we need to decide on the minimum amount of money we need to live for one month and keep at least that much money in some sort of revolving account--so that at the beginning of each month, we can deposit it into our checking account and budget it out, and then replace it as we get paid (assuming we do get paid.) Do you know what I mean?

So anyway...This last month or so was the first in my married life (or single life, for that matter) that I have ever put an honest effort toward staying within a budget and trying to save money. There have definitely been months where we have had to spend less money--simply because we did not have any to spend, but this is the first time when we made an effort to spend less money despite having the option to spend more. And I still didn't figure out a complete budget, but I certainly progressed. When we last got paid, I put into our checking account only that amount that we decided was reasonable for us to live on. Then, I left enough money in the account to pay the bills that are automatically withdrawn and took the rest out in cash. Brian and I decided on a monthly allowance for each of us to spend as we choose, and then I set the rest aside for groceries, gas, etc. We agreed that if we wanted to spend money on anything that wasn't a need, we had to use our own allotted money to buy it. The outcome, of course? We've both been saving up our money to buy something big, instead of wasting it away on little things like drinks, fast food, etc. Brian is saving his money for an LCD TV, and I'm saving mine for a bunk bed for Camp's room, a bed for Danin, new dining room chairs to go with our awesome table, and eight or nine inch baseboards for our next house. Yep. It looks like I'll be saving for a while. But man, I just never thought saving money could be so satisfying. (I better not speak too soon. My chickens are not hatched yet. Saving for one month is just not going to cut it.) Oh, and don't you worry. I am making sure to put money aside each month for savings and our Roth IRA's. It's not a ton, but we'll pay more as we are able.

So do you want to know where I have been cutting out spending? Well, the biggest one is fast food. This means I have had to be better at planning--ahead of time--what to make for lunch and dinner instead of just dropping by McDonalds or having Brian grab some tacos on the way home. We really don't eat a lot of fast food anyway, but even five or six trips a month for a family our size saves us around 60 or 70 bucks. And I have cut back the amounts of food I make for dinner. Specifically, I try harder to make only as much as we will eat that night, and not so much that we have tons of leftovers. That way, I get a lot more dinners out of--our meat, for instance--So I don't have to spend so much on groceries. Having leftovers of cheap stuff is good, but having chicken or steak for lunch is just too expensive. And I have cut back on the snack foods I buy. AND I have not given in to sales...(I'm still kinda sad about that rug I missed out on, though.) AND I have avoided going to any stores where I might be tempted to buy something. AND I have really tried to be more conservative in the number of baby wipes and toilet paper squares I use. Yep. This is the big time. So anyway...I think this has been the most boring post I have ever written. Please don't disagree with me.

Oh, but you know what?! Two weeks from today is my mom-and-sister reunion! Ah, yeeeahhh. Oh my heavens. I cannot wait. This time I'm flying to my mom's and then my sisters are all going to meet me there. And it is going to be fa-bu-lous. And do you know what I AM going to spend some money on while I'm there? Some men's Hanes v-neck whitey tideys (shirts, not underwear). I have DESPERATELY needed some new work-out clothes, but I have even refrained from buying those until I am in Vegas and can go to target.

Boo hoo

Is it just me or do turtlenecks (cute ones) and pull-over sweatshirts make your hair look cuter?

Oh, and you know what else makes me cry? Taxes. I'm sure glad Brian loves what he does, because being self-employed really bites.