A Note to My Kids (Jane)

Janey Mac Darling.Oh, how I love my girl, Gain Goo. You are 12 now and in Young Women. This weekend, you went to your first Standards Night down in Brookings. Lyn and Luell took you girls and even got a hotel room so that all of you could spend the night and go to the Brookings Ward today. I missed you, Gain Goo! ;I was so happy to see you when you got home and so glad to hear that you had had a good time. You continue to be a thoughtful, helpful wonderful daughter and sister. You are always the first to answer a request for help and Daddy and I have always been able to trust you with any responsibility. You are a very kind and supportive sister to your siblings. I thought Skip was kind of a mama's boy, but I believe he loves YOU more than he loves ME! Not surprisingly, you are doing exceptionally well in school. You were born for school.You are a perfect student--not just because I say so. Your teachers say so, too. Recently, you and I attended a meeting with all your teachers to discuss the progress you are making with your speech counselor (you are still working on being able to pronounce your 'j', 'sh' and 'ch' sounds. Each of your teachers took a turn bragging about what an amazing student and girl you are. And you are mine!! You are taking 7th grade math and still acing it.;Once in a while you come to me with a question on a homework problem and I try to explain it.I don't usually do a very good job. Your best friend is Corduroy and lately you have also spent a lot of time with Emily. She loves to come over and spend time with you at our house. Also, specifically since you ran cross country, you have formed a close friendship with Brayden Linton, Ethan Jagoe and Kyle Hughes and the five of you (including Corduroy) really have a good time together. Although you are all around 12, you often hang out together outside of school, which is really fun.I am so grateful you have a good group of friends. This is definitely one of the greatest blessings a kid--and particularly a teenager--can have. This year, you have run cross country and track and played basketball and soccer. Because of how easy going you are, I would never have guessed how intense and aggressive you would be in sports! What an amazing athlete you are!! In basketball, you were stealing the ball from the other team about every five seconds and in soccer, you are never afraid to go after the ball. The other day when I was subbing in Mrs. Decker's class, Eva stayed after school to work on an assignment. While she was there she commented on how she wished she could be good at everything like you. She asked me if there was anything you weren't good at. Is there anything you aren't good at, Gain Goo? You have started wearing make-up--just mascara at this point--and it is so weird to see you looking so grown up. Sarah told me a long time ago that she had a dream about seeing you when you were all grown up and how beautiful you were. You ARE beautiful, Gain Goo. Because of your age and the hormonal changes that come along with it, you are moody at times which is something we haven't really experienced with you before. This is a new thing for you and for Daddy and Me.I hope we can navigate it successfully together. One thing that makes you very different from me is that you are very private. The other day, you were at the counter with me, eating a cookie, and I brought up a difficult situation you have been experiencing with one of your friends. You immediately became (quietly) emotional, dropped your cookie in the garbage and went straight to your room. You did not want to talk about it.Sometimes I worry that you are suffering on your own because you don't like to talk about things. I wonder how a person who is private resolves feelings of discouragement, depression and anxiety. I hope that Daddy will be able to offer you what maybe I cannot because he can relate to you in that way better than I. I hope you understand that my intentions are always good. Recently, you left a letter on my bed expressing how you don't really trust me because of how open I am on social media. You let me know that you do NOT want me sharing things about you. I was partially heart broken to read the letter, because it was clear I had let you down; but on the other hand, I felt soooo grateful you were expressing these feelings to me--thereby giving me the chance to change and improve and gain your forgiveness. I wrote you back thanking you for the letter, asking for your forgiveness, and letting you know I can be very good at keeping secrets if you'll just remind me when something is private. :) Because you continue to be such an easy child and do not require a lot, I still worry at times that maybe I am not meeting all of your needs. I frequently pray that Heavenly Father will help Daddy and me to recognize the ways in which you kids receive love. I deeply and sincerely want to be able to speak YOUR love language to you. I think one of your love languages is gifts because of how frequently and thoughtfully you give gifts to others. Recently, you asked me what I wanted for Easter. I told you I didn't want anything. When you pressed me, I told you that what I really enjoy at Easter is just watching you kids have fun. On Easter morning, Daddy and I each had an Easter basket from you and in mine was a little photo book of pictures of you kids having fun. I was speechless. I couldn't believe that you had thought up the most perfect gift and had given me exactly what I wanted--a gift I will cherish forever. Janey, I hope I CAN earn your trust. I hope I can give you the support you need. I hope you feel my love every single day. I hope you never doubt how much Daddy and I love you.Even though you are not perfect and I do not want to put the pressure to be perfect on you, you are truly a perfect daughter to me anf Daddy and we are so lucky to have you. (This post was written in 2019, but was finally published with Jane's permission in 2025.)