This time you get the thousand words

Remember that childhood story about me holding that picture of Kim (my childhood best friend who had recently moved across town) while I forced tears out of my eyes and sappy music played in the background? Well I have a little more to say about my friendship with Kim. She was my first (as in chronologically) best friend and therefore affected my life in a similar way as does a first love. You know what I mean? I really liked her and my general contentedness in life depended quite heavily on my relationship and experiences with her. It was so fun to have her as my best friend because not only did we enjoy each other, but we looked very similar as well. We were the same height, had the same color eyes and hair, and had approximately the same build as well. We had people mistake us for one another all the time, and I loved it. I loved it because I thought the world of Kim, and I couldn't imagine my life without her. I wanted to be just like her. The thing was--just as is the case for many sets of "twins"--one twin was the prettier, more popular one, and I was not that twin. Hmmm....this story seems to be derailing....But anyway....I remember that in third grade (or fourth was it?) two new girls-Macayla and Dorothy--moved into our school and a friendship between the two of them and Kim quickly sprouted. It wasn't long before I felt like the old getting tossed out and replaced by the new. Oh, man. I was heart broken. And I remember one time having Macayla tell me that during an overnighter with Kim and Dorothy, Kim had been talking badly about me behind my back. When Kim admitted to it, I seriously felt as if my world were crumbling all around me. I could hardly bear that pain of betrayal. (In all honesty, the trust issues I struggle with today probably did grow out of this one experience.) I've been surprised all my life at the pain I felt as a little girl having her best friend move on to funner, cooler pastures. OK. I have GOT to get to the point. The thing is...starting at that time and continuing throughout my life, I have been a bit heartbroken every time the person(s) whose affection I long for has chosen someone else over me. Most likely we've all been there a time or two--having a boyfriend dump us for someone else, being left out from attentions and invitations, being replaced by Macaylas and Dorothys. And it hurts. It hurts bad. And I don't know how you've dealt with it, but growing up, I didn't deal well. I was defensive. I was cold. I was mean. I did what I could to make my offender aware of my anger. And it was totally counterproductive, obviously. And I knew better. I knew being that way was not going to win me any friends or any boyfriends, but I just couldn't deal any differently.
It's been a long time since I've had to experience those feelings--not that I haven't experienced jealousy in a long time. I experience that all the time--but specifically the feelings that accompany a friendship which is somewhat unbalanced because one person is more dependent on the friendship or relationship than the other is. You know what I mean? Recently in my life I have found myself feeling somewhat desperate to develop a certain kind of friendship with a person who seems to prefer another or others to me. Man, this just sounds so junior high-ish. The good news is--despite the fact that I am experiencing little girl (or even high-school girl) feelings as a 32-year-old lady (I refuse to say woman), I am dealing with them like a big girl! I'm a big girl now! (Diaper commercial, anyone?) I'm not being mean and defensive. I'm not trying to get back at them. I'm not falling apart. Because I've at least matured enough to be OK with the fact that many times I'm not going to be the one who gets invited, and sometimes people won't like me as much as I like them, and sometimes I might feel left a little behind. But it's really OK. That's the way life goes for each of us, and it's OK.

Since pictures are worth a thousand words...

Open Enrollment

Today while I was at the library, I got a call from the principal at Camp's school. He told me that he had been made aware that Camp had been passing out a "letter" of some sort at recess and asked me if I knew about it. Sure I did. I had been the one to make 19 copies of the original. You know. For all the kids that will be dying to get into Camp's exclusive Karate class. So anyway, when I started laughing and told Mr. Harkleroad I was aware of the document, he remained silent--not quite sure what to say next. Then he said, "I don't want to ruin his entrepreneurial spirit, but we can't have him passing these out at school." I understood, of course, and asked him if he could please go easy on Camp when he addressed the issue with him. He agreed. After school, when Mr. Harkleroad was directing traffic near the parking lot, I rolled down my window to ask him if he would be signing up. He laughed and told me that he had asked Camp what kind of moves he knew and Camp had responded with "sand the floor" and "paint the fence". Pretty much all the best ones. :) Not bad for twenty bucks.

No Good Excuses

I'm still really tired. Unfortunately, I really don't have any good excuses for being so. You know why?! Because my boy Skip is sleeping through the night!!! The last two nights he slept close to 12 hours straight! Now this may not be any big thing to some of you, but I'll have you know, it's a HUGE thing for me. None of my babies have slept through the night until at least like eight months. But with each baby, my need for a full night's sleep has increased, so with Skip, I've made the whole sleeping-through-the-night thing more of a priority than ever. And I'm sure many of you will agree that the secret to getting a baby to sleep through the night can be summed up by two words: Baby Wise. It's important for me to say that when I've read On Becoming Baby Wise, I haven't agreed with much of what's in it. The authors definitely make you feel like a horrible mother if you don't feed your baby on a schedule(which has been me to a large degree with my three other babies). And like any other mother, I don't like to be preached to--and those babies were still happy and wonderful, mind you. However, there's no denying that these folks are right on the money when it comes to getting your baby to sleep through the night (given that you have a pretty normal baby), so Skip eats five times a day (sometimes six) every three hours, and he goes to bed right around 8 o'clock like a champ every night. Anyway, just in case that is still useful information to any of you.....

Oh, guess what?! Remember how I've told you how I fantasize about singing along out loud to my Ipod while on the treadmill at the gym? Well today I got to almost experience that vicariously through this lady in front of me. Except she wasn't singing. She was dancing! I'm not kidding. This lady was probably in her late 50's and she was rockin' out. It was so incredible. When I pulled up to the gym and I could see her through the window, I was convinced she must be drunk or something. But nope. That lady was just without the inhibitions the rest of us suffer from, and she was having a dang good time. I'm talking head banging, raising the roof--the whole nine yards, and all while on a treadmill! Man, it was cool.

And I know I've asked you all about this before, but I'm considering getting serious about couponing again and I'm wondering if any of you have ever done one of those couponing programs and been able to stay on it longterm. I'm curious to know if you really have saved a lot of money over all when you look at your total grocery spending every month, or if you have just saved a significant amount of money on things you wouldn't otherwise be buying. Any input will be greatly appreciated.

You know what's funny? Brian is really competitive. But that's not the funny part. The funny part is that he doesn't even care if he is playing a game against a three-year-old. There is still no chance he's gonna let that kid win. So in our house, the object is for all of the rest of us combined to try and beat Dad, and we still rarely win. One of these pictures is of Brian and the kids right after a game of memory. Can you see how little everyone's pile of matches is? Oh yeah. Except Brian's.

And for my interested posterity's sake, I want to say how darling it is that whenever Jane and Dan get a treat of any kind, they immediately combine them and run to their room to get little dishes in which to portion them out. Every treat inspires a little game of house. I love it. And Camp has started teaching Karate lessons. Sure, his only qualifications include having watched the new and old Karate Kid movies a hundred times, but he already has two students. Whom exactly goes without saying, I'm sure. Isn't it interesting how boys develop this crazy reflex of Karate chopping that happens as easily and as often as blinking? Truly amazing.

I'm just too tired

I've had every intention of updating my blog. I've just gotten behind in everything and I can't seem to pick up the slack. I'm tired. I'm usually so productive at night. After my kids go to bed, I usually clean up the front of the house, or vacuum, or do laundry, or watch TV, or update my blog, or a combination of some or all of those things, but these days, I'm lucky if I even brush my teeth before I fall asleep. And my scripture reading is slacking big time, too. As much as I've loved the addition of Skip to our lives, having a new baby--even as good a baby as he--has seemed to unravel things a bit. And like I said, I'm just tired. I've been wanting to tell you about how I got mastitis for the first time; and about how Brian was out of town for our Valentines date so I was accompanied by Camp instead;

and about how Brian ran his first Ultra marathon (which was 31 miles of trails!!); and about how we enjoyed another wonderful visit with Becky who came to meet Skip and be here for his Blessing; and about how I've been looking forward to Brian's and my 10 year wedding anniversary forever and when it finally came, it was awful; and about how good the kids are with Skip; and about how I got to visit with Brooke for a couple hours and see in person just how darling Addison is; and about how I'm finally going to make an appointment with the doctor so that he can prescribe me some ultra-strength antiperspirant; and probably about other things. The problem is, though--I'm just too tired. But don't you worry. As soon as I've gotten tons of sleep and my kitchen floor is clean again, I'll tell you all about it.