Friday, July 4, 2008

I'm feeling crappy.

Sometimes the sappy, seemingly perfect blogging world makes you want to puke, so I thought I'd add a bit of variety to it. Brian and I are in a fight. Our differences are currently not complimenting one another as they do most of the time. I will not tell you what we are fighting about, as I recognize that I would not represent Brian's perspective fairly. What I will tell you is that I cried a lot, said a prayer that our hearts would both be softened, and then took a nap. It could have been worse. I could have screamed and punched Brian like I wanted to and then called my mom or Brian's mom in order to get validation. As it is, I'm up from my nap, and my heart has not been softened (does that mean I'm right and I don't need any softening?) and I'm wondering when and how this fight will ever end.

So there.

15 comments:

Melissa & William said...

Ann, I have been married now for exactly 21 days (thanks William for correcting me twice on that then admitting that I was right after all), and all I can say is that I now understand how you might be feeling. Discord is not that fun when you're living with somebody. I'm sure you guys will be able to get back on the same page soon, though. At least the two of you have got passion, even if you're at odds sometimes. Know that I love you (and am lousy at my multiplication tables compared to my husband).
By the way, thanks again for coming to the sealing.

McLeod Clan said...

Annie,

Thanks for being so real. As you well know I've had my ups and downs so far in this marriage of mine but then I look back and think to myself that in time, both of us with these strong personalities become so much better for eachother through all of our trials together. Its not easy AT ALL though. At the end of the day, no matter what we as couples argue about, its so great to be assured that they love us no matter what and we the same for them.

Bethany said...

Poor thing :) For some reason, my hubby and I ALWAYS fight on major holidays - hmmm...don't know why, but it's almost become a tradition - lol! He was gone this year on the 4th for a week, so it didn't happen. I think i'd rather be in a fight with him, then have him gone :(

Jen said...

I love it! Not that you and Brian are in a fight, and that you are feeling crappy. But I love the honesty, because you are so right that I frequently have to push down dry heaves at the seemingly perfectness of other people's lives! Sigh, you and Brian have such strong personalities that don't act in your favor when you disagree. You guys have found a way to make it work though, I think mostly through mediation of the spirit, and I'm sure this will be no different. Good luck, love ya!

Lisa said...

I completely agree about the disgusting perfectness of most blogs out there. I sometimes feel very bad about myself after reading about everyone's perfect lives! I'm sorry about the fight. Why is it that the person we love the most also makes us the most angry and crazy! It's like they bring out all the extremes in us and then we have to learn to control it all. Good luck!

ksdavis6 said...

I have days like that!! And I am sorry, and know where you are coming from. Husbands can be very difficult, they just can't seem to understand us as females. Ha- Ha!!! I hope that your heart has been softened and things are going better. Some days Kris just makes me want to scream. He will be gone this week until thurs. maybe we can come visit you, or you can come visit us. Keep your head up and know that I love ya.

Valerie said...

I swear boys have mood swings just as much as girls. This is my usual justification when arguing... and it is no fun having to be a good mom when you are so mad at your husband. You are a good person, and a great example to me. I am glad you don't live a perfect blog life. :)

Heather & Billy said...

hahahahahaha. I had very similar thoughts most of the week last week. I actually almost blogged about it but then I realized I wouldn't be able to keep the details to myself because I suck like that and that they probably were best kept to myself so I left it alone. But I'm still mad and it's been a week and my heart has not been softened. Either I'm right or I haven't been trying hard enough. Both are pretty likely but I think I'm right. ;)

Nicole Cave said...

I swear everytime I come to your blog it makes me laugh. I hate those fights...the ones where you really wonder if you are ever going to like them again...not love them but at least like them. It is the worst feeling. Somehow you move on though...

nikki said...

Ann, thanks for being honest. It would be a little strange if married couples never disagreed on anything or had conflicts of personality. You and Brian have extremely strong personalities, so it is inevitable that these situations arise. I have to agree with everyone though... these things have a way of working themselves out over time. You will like him again... I promise.

campblondie said...

I don't handle marriage advice very well so I am not going to attempt to hand it out. Fights stink. Good luck.

Miriam said...

My husband told me I needed to read your blog whenever it was that you posted it, and I'm just now making my way over to visit you. By now I'm sure your fight is over, but man I gotta say--thanks for sharing. I wrote a post about how sometimes I daydream about doing something with my voice or something, and how sometimes I feel a little crazy just going through the motions of cleaning and feeding all day. I wrote about it, and then the next day I got a comment about how motherhood is really fulfilling, and singing to my baby is more rewarding... I felt so embarrassed that I actually edited the post, and took out anything bordering real. I didn't have the confidence to just say "yeah. I feel that way sometimes. So there." Thanks for being a beacon.

Lindsay said...

Um. . .did Brian not get the memo that the wife is always right? I can send him the memo if he didn't get it!! I have to say I'm curious what the fight is about. :)

Emily said...

Annie,
I am amazed at how much credit you are always taking in fights, and just in life in general. Which shows your humility, which shows you will always work through these things. I remember how good my Dad was at at saying he was sorry, he'd be deffensive and insensitive, think it over, and within 20 minutes come say he was sorry and give me a hug, it taught me a lot about humility. You teach me about humility too, I am so sorry you are feeling crappy, but by now I think that you are probablly your happy Annie self again, thanks for being you and for being such a GEM for Brian and the kids!!! P.S. Please come visit my blog Keeping Perspective, it is not super rosey, it is very real, and my other blog, come visit too, it my be more light and upbeat, but its my goal to see life for the funny moments, my goal is to have more humour in life. Love ya,
Em

Danalin said...

You've inspired me to give my blog a dose of reality...

I am sure that your fight is over by now. Sorry that we all have to go through times like that. But making up can be rather sweet!