Sunday, April 19, 2009

Chinese torture

Does anyone know what the heck I'm talking about when I say Chinese torture? Actually, I don't even know what the heck I'm talking about when I say Chinese torture except that my siblings and I spent at least half our lives claiming that somebody or something was giving us Chinese torture....I'm feeling a little bad right now because I just took a second to Google Chinese torture and it turns out it is probably not something we should have been trivializing by making reference to it so lightly all those years. But anyway, if you will forgive my ignorance... Chinese torture to us consisted of those things that gave you the yucky chills down your back, or just drove you crazy. You know--the nails on a chalkboard kinds of things. Well, do you know what gives me Chinese torture (again, please excuse me)these days? Bare feet shuffling or rubbing across smooth cement that has dirt on it, when women wear eyeliner without mascara, utensils falling half way through the darn holes in the utensil basket of the dishwasher so that you cannot pull out or push in the bottom rack, and crayons falling through the crack of the pew all during sacrament--forcing the poor people in back of us to bend over to pick them up fifty times. Ahhhh!!!!!
Things continue to be pretty good here--except for the fact that Camp informed me that my teeth are indeed yellow. If I only had a dime for every time a kid told me I have yellow teeth...I specifically remember, for example, going with Curtis Townsend to visit our "little brother" (as part of the Big Sister Big Brother program)--oh, what was his name?....Kyle!....And he informed us that Curtis's teeth were white and that mine were yellow. It's nice to be able to rely on kids for an honest opinion, but seriously! One can only take so many honest opinions. Besides, if I could change my yellow teeth, I certainly would. In fact, new white teeth would be my plastic surgery of choice--way above a boob job, or botox, or vericose vein removal...and yep, even above eyelash extensions. The thing is--getting white teeth is not as easy for me as it would be for most of you. Why? Well it's a long story, and I'm not good at making long stories short. Oh, alright. I'll try. Needed fake teeth. Long time ago. Teeth whitening new. Didn't know enough. Got yellow fake teeth. Fake teeth don't bleach. Wish I could do it over again. Don't have the five grand to. Bummer.

But, yeah. Easter was super fun. We went up to Jigg's and Julie's property to spend Saturday and have lunch and an egg hunt, and then on Sunday, the kids got to wear their new Easter outfits from Becky and we had a nice ham dinner with Jen and Tim and their kids.

And my mom surprised us and came up on Thursday! A girl couldn't ask for a better surprise than that! (nor could her kids), so we were spoiled with attention and candy, and had to take her back to the airport today.

And that's about it.

Oh, wait! I trimmed my trees. Yes, I decided they did indeed need a hair--scratch that--needle cut, so I shaped those babies right up. And I think they look marvelous.

Oh, and we saw turkeys gobbling through our back yard! I mean, we had gotten used to the bear sightings (it pretty much freaked my mom out to see one for herself), but a turkey? We could be selling tickets to our own private zoo! I'm just kidding, Mom. I really will start looking into a solution to the bear problem tomorrow. It really is scary. (f you look carefully, you can see the bear in the picture with the swing set.)

Oh, and you know what is ALMOST as scary as our bear problem? This.


Heather and Billy said...

Bear sightings? Where's the picture of that? As for the yellow teeth...They have never looked yellow to me. Maybe because mine must be just as bad or worse and because Billy's are for sure but cannot be whitened (and the doctor's have tried!).

Audge said...

All those pictures are so cute. And that last picture of you is not that bad. Do you remember that HIDEOUS picture of me with my face completely distorted, looking like I could be the little sister of Sloth (the hideous monster thing on "The Goonies")? Oh yeah, Brian sent that picture to me through email and titled it, "Here you go beautiful." Well if you don't remember, ask Brian, maybe he will have a vague memory of it. It was butt ugly.

Anyway, your kids are so cute! I want to go to your house so bad. Plus wouldn't they be thrilled to see their favorite aunt anyway? JK. But seriously, I want to make some money so I can fly out there.

Black bears in your backyard? Oh heeeere's an idea. Build a fence. Haha.

Ok once again, peace in this nation.

McLeod Clan said...

Ok the last picture was great Annie! The Easter pictures are adorable and I especially love Danins toe hanging out of the sandle. Kids are the best! And Ann.... I love your fake teeth, yellow or not!

Justin said...

oh how you make me laugh!!!

Justin said...

it's me rachel...signed in as justin

Amy said...

Annie....I love love LOVE your posts...they always crack me up! But I esp. love the story about Camp telling you that you have yellow teeth. One of my little neighbors saw a pic of my great grandma when she was about my age (so obviously it was black and white), so the little girl was so confused and looked at it so incredulously and said, "Is that YOU?" And I said,"No, does she look like me?" And she said, "Yes." I THEN asked, "Is she pretty?" And she crinkled her nose together and said, "Uh....not really." AHHH!.....Brutally honest it. :)

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