Saturday, February 2, 2013

Love Dare, Day 3 (For Sunday) : Love is Not Rude

(I have skipped to day 5's dare for Sunday because dares 3 & 4 are better suited for regular work days.  We will go back to them on Monday and Tuesday). 

I'm going to quote a little from the book here to help guide our handling of today's dare:

Ask yourself these questions:

How deos your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?

How does your behavior affect your mates's sense of worth and self-esteem?

Would your husband or wife say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?

If you're thingking that your spouse--notyou--is the one who needs work in this area, you're likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness...Do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you?  Then it's time to stop doing the things that bother them. 

Here are three guiding principles when it comes to practicing etiquette in your marriage:

1) Guard the Golden Rule.  Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated.
2)  No double standards.  Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.
3) Honor requests.  Consider what your husband of wife already asked you to do or not do.  If in doubt, then ask.

(page 22 and 23 of book)


Day 3 Dare:

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you.  You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior.  This is from their perspective only.

I don't know if any of you have husbands like mine, but mine is very unlikely to answer this question.  In fact, if he does answer the question honestly, he'll probably say, "It really irritates me and makes me uncomfortable when you ask me these questions."  I suggest that for those of us in this situation, it may be beneficial to just leave a little note asking these questions--then our husbands can choose not to answer the questions if they prefer not to, and there is a lesser chance of us becoming defensive.  Do any of you have any other suggestions with this dare?   

1 comment:

McLeod Clan said...

No suggestions but I really wish I would have read this in the morning. Sounds so simple to not be rude but a major struggle for me. I read through those questions and man!!! I am so rude! Thanks Annie for helping me become a better wifey.