Toenails

What is your best physical attribute?

It's hard for me to say which feature of my body is the most perfect (are you laughing?); but if I had to pinpoint just ONE, I would definitely say my ears.

All I can really say is that my toenails are NOT contenders. The thing is, I was raised by a toenail picker and unfortunately, monkey saw and monkey did. So I have picked my toenails my whole life. I know it's gross, but I just can't help it. I have very few memories of ever having pretty toenails. In fact, I have two. One was a time in high school or maybe right afterward. I had somehow managed to grow my toenails out and had actually painted them. The only reason I remember this is because I was so excited when Meg noticed them and commented on how good they looked. The second memory is of the day that Camp was born. I remember that I had grown out and painted my fingernails and toenails just so that something would look good after having given birth. Brian even helped me paint them the day before since I could no longer reach them. Talk about service. And they looked good--they were really toenails to be proud of. But other than that, my toenails have always been nasty. A few times over the years (like in the picture above)I have painted onto my toes in order to make my toenails look longer, but for the most part, I have never really cared too much about it. I mean, they're TOEnails, right? And nobody has ever really given me any trouble about it until a few days ago. Leave it to Rachel Terry(not to be confused with my sister-in-law) to finally make known to me that my toenails are unacceptable. She is so funny. So despite the fact that it is totally lame to care about what other people think of my toenails(or of anything else, for that matter), I am going to master myself and stop picking my toenails. And who knows, maybe someday I'll be a girl with perfect ears and perfect toenails.

P.S. For those of you who are interested, our stay here in Vegas has been really good so far. Brian flew back home three days after we got here and I have really missed him. He'll be coming back on Sunday, and I can't wait. I'll post pics from this trip later on.

I lived my dream, and now the dream is over.

I didn't think I would ever have long hair. As I mentioned in previous posts, I longed to have long hair for most of my childhood. I would have given anything to have had hair that hung in front of my shoulders or down my back. I would have DIED to have had hair that got stuck against the pew at church when I sat down. I never felt very feminine and I felt like long hair would have made me so much more a girl. Over the years, though, the obsession faded as I accepted the realization that long hair was just not in my cards. And as time passed, I even came to like short hair better--to me it was sassy and way more sophisticated. I cut my hair short when I was in college and it was short for about five years--and I was cool with it. However, when I became pregnant for the first time and began taking prenatal vitamins and then as I transitioned into motherhood, my hair began to grow as it never had before. I think the prenatals and hormones were huge contributors, but I think it was also a result of my not doing my hair nearly as often. You know how it is as a mother--taking a shower becomes a luxury, and doing your hair is forced several notches down the priority list. Since I wasn't damaging my hair as much and since I didn't always have the time nor the money to have it cut very often, it just kept growing. And you know what? One day I woke up and I had long hair. (Long for me, that is.) I had long hair! And even though I loved short haircuts by then, I felt like I was living a childhood dream! And I got to enjoy all of the things (for the most part) that long-haired girls get to experience, and I loved it. I loved it until one day a couple months ago when I began losing it by the handfuls. I'm not kidding--i was losing my hair and I was losing it fast. But don't be concerned--it was all in the normal cycle of things. I think we all lose hair after having had a baby. But mine had just hung on a little longer than usual as I continued to take prenatals. Anyway, despite loving having longish hair, I was equally determined to not be one of those crazy girls who has hair that is long alright, but it is also nasty and stringy--lookin' and thin. You know the ones--they usually hang out around places like 7-11. And as sad as it is, I was fast becoming one of those girls. So on a sunny day a couple weeks ago, I cut my hair. I cut it to my shoulders and then had Brian try to help me even it out. It looked alright, but as long as I was cutting my hair, I felt like I should at least get a real hair cut. So last Wednesday I went and had it cut for real. And I'm OK. It isn't exactly what I wanted, but I'm OK. You know why? Because I don't care as much about my hair any more. So anyway... now I'm a short-haired girl again, and I've said way more than should ever be said about hair. Sorry about that.

Everything else is cool, except that my little Danin is sick. I'm not sure what is wrong with her. She's been running a fever for a couple of days now and she is just not herself. I think she only smiled once today and she has just been really tired and lethargic acting. I took her to the doctor today and they prescribed her some antibiotics for the beginnings of a possible ear infection, so we'll see how that goes. I sure hope she's herself again soon. She started walking a few weeks ago and now she's cruising along like a pro.

Jane is as darling as ever, but man, I sure hope she starts going potty in the toilet soon. She has gone poop in the toilet many times over the last year, but it's never materialized into any kind of habit.

Camp is really growing up, and I am so proud of him. He has gotten so much better at not hitting people, he has amazing phone manners, and he is learning to swim.

Brian is doing well also, but I'm not sure he has been thinking about what an amazing wife he has lately. Probably because he hasn't had an amazing wife lately. I really need to kick it into amazing wife gear this week, because starting next Sunday, I will be away from him for two weeks while I stay in Vegas with the kids and I really want him to miss me. I miss him every time I am away from him.

Sittin pretty

I made Brian laugh tonight. (I just wanted to make sure I got it on record.) AND I bought a minivan on Friday! I have to say that I bought it because Brian is still wanting no part in it. It is a 2008 white Toyota Sienna. Oh, yeah--I'll be posting pictures, alright! I just have to get down to Vegas to get it first, and that will happen on the 21st.

I'm too sexy for my car

Pretty much everyone is too sexy for my car. However, I am just sexy enough for the minivan I will buying soon. That's not the point, though. The point is, I am a knock out. I am seriously probably the most beautiful person in the whole world. How do I know? Because a week or so ago, I was talking to a couple in my ward, and they told me that they had been talking to one of their neighbors who had said, "Did you know that Jim Mitchell has a niece? She is a knock out! ( It turns out that their neighbor is this guy that I have talked to at the gym a couple times.) But can you believe that? I have FINALLY met a person who knows beauty when he sees it. I will love that man forever. Do I care that he is probably almost twice my age, goes tanning, and has a girlfriend whom he met on the internet? Nope. It's all the same to me. Those are words not often spoken. Come to think about it--those are words not ever spoken. But it looks like the tides are changing, now doesn't it...And that gets me thinking...
For most of my life, I have been totally insecure and self conscience. Although always feeling like Heavenly Father loved me and thought I was fabulous(which I now recognize as being a wonderful blessing), I always felt like I was kind of on the ugly side. I remember being a little girl and feeling like I didn't look the same as the other girls. I'm thinking it was because all the other girls could put pink sponge curlers in their hair and the next day they would have curls bouncing on their shoulders, and when my mom put pink sponge curlers in MY hair, all I got were blond bumps on my scalp. I remember analyzing my profile in the mirror. I remember kids asking me about the "spots" on my face. I remember being able to fit a tootsie pop stick in the gap between my two front teeth, and then later (during my freshman year) having people stare at my mouth when those two teeth had been pushed together and I was left with two big holes on either side. I have so many bad memories of being insecure. I remember being paranoid of hearing someone describe me for fear of what they'd say. I remember that in sixth grade, my best friend and I were talking on the phone with the boy we liked and he described us both as "average" and I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I remember never wanting to be described as "tall and blond" because I worried that people would assume I was pretty and then they would be disappointed upon meeting me. I remember that even when Brian left on his mission, I worried about him taking a picture of me and having the other elders thinking that he had an ugly girlfriend. (That reminds me...Remember that part on Home Alone when Kevin finds a picture of Buzz's girlfriend?) Anyway, it seemed as if the only people in the world(excluding my mom) who thought I was pretty were Emily and Mim. Oh my gosh. Thank goodness for Emily and Mim. They truly saved me. I think I felt like people who really knew me and loved my innards probably thought I was alright looking, but the idea of someone thinking I was pretty without knowing me was inconceivable. So I went through those years not understanding a very important and magical truth--a truth that I learned from my best friend after I was married: the fact that it is possible to trick people (if you will) into thinking you are beautiful. She taught me that if you act like you think you're beautiful, people will begin to think you really are. Isn't that brilliant? And it totally works. Before she taught me this, I allowed Brian to see all of my insecurities and I never knew how to respond when he complimented my looks. But now, when Brian says, "Man, you're hot, Babe." I say, "Yeah, that's true." And I'm not even joking.--The man believes it! Chels! Why did you not teach me that earlier? When I've thought about it, I've realized that this little truth is just another way of saying what we've all been told before: Confidence is extremely attractive. Confidence truly does make a person beautiful.
I remember that somewhere in my teenage or young adult history, I did begin to have a glimmer of understanding of the importance of confidence. I wanted to have confidence so badly, so I decided at some point to start faking confidence. And do you know what happened? People responded to my faked confidence positively, which helped me to start building up the real stuff. You know what I mean? So then my confidence began to grow... and it continued to grow at a nice leisurely pace until I moved to the retirement community of Florence, at which point it pretty much catapulted upward. Why? Because I was suddenly in a place where I was practically the only young person around and so by default, I was the most beautiful and the most amazing. It wasn't that I had the most gorgeous hair, or the prettiest teeth, or the hottest body or amazing talents. It was just that I still had hair and teeth, I could still use my body and the small talents I had to offer were so much more needed by the people around me. But whatever. Pretty good situation, right.? You're darn right. Living here has done wonders for my confidence. So anyway, even though I still don't think I'm beautiful (I was using my trick on you in the beginning of this post), I'm comfortable with the way I look and the person I am. And I will still love that guy forever.

With all that said, guess what else? Have I mentioned that I'M RICH!? Well maybe not rich, but pretty much for the first time in my married life, we have no credit card debt. That's right. Brian and I have paid off our credit card. And ho-lee-cow. It feels soooo good.

Flying solo

I really screwed up today. I was asked to substitute teach the 12 and 13 year old Sunday school class today and the lesson was on the Word of Wisdom. After the class, and while I was sitting in Relief Society, I was thinking about how things had gone and I realized that I had totally taught a crappy lesson. Why? Because I was totally without the guidance and inspiration of the Spirit. I hadn't given nearly enough thought to the things that I would say and the way I would present the lesson, and I definitely wasn't sensitive to my class members' situations during the lesson. So I missed an opportunity to have the Spirit testify to those youth of truth. Nice one, Ann. I just hope I will be given another chance to do it right next time.
On a lighter note...
When Brian and I first moved to Oregon, we were both working--Brian was working on my aunt and uncle's remodel, and I was working in a candy store downtown. On payday, we would often go over to Eugene for the day and spend money. Man, it was fun. We would go out to eat, get chocolates at Sees, go clothes shopping for me and tool shopping for Brian. Those were some good times... and they pretty much ended when we started having kids. But yesterday, we rekindled the passion--well, almost. We were able to leave Camp and Jane behind, but we had to take Danin with us. It's funny, because back in the day I treated myself to a bunch of clothes from the mall, but these days, treating myself means getting a few of my favorite Airwick plug -in oil burners, some vanilla and lavender scented Downy ( I am determined to have a house that smells good), two new white pots, and a little ficus. Ooohhh. I did get some new lip gloss, too. And can I tell you how much I love grocery shopping at Wal-mart? I know many of you probably hate Wal-mart, but I am totally willing to forge my way through the masses in order to get green sauce and salad dressing at half the price as at my store here in Florence.
Other than that, Brian left for scout camp today and will be gone until Saturday. It will probably be a long week. I sure wish I got to spend it with my mom like Kacey. Luckyyyyyy! Brian being gone means that Camp is the "man of the house." This is a big deal for Camp because it means that he gets to sleep in my bed.
Oh, and we did another taste test. In case you care, Henry Weinhard's was preferred over IBC by five out of six people. (And in case you care a little more, I don't really care for root beer--or other soda--in general.)
Yep, so aside from my terrible lesson today, I'm a pretty darn happy lady.

It's all good.

No, you don't have to worry. You will not be seeing us on Divorce Court any time soon. They're all booked up until November. Psyyyyyych! It feels so good to use that word again after like twenty years. I may not be bringing sexy back, but I'm going to try and bring psych back. Anyway, everything's fine. I can't say that everything is resolved, but there is no longer the threat of violence or name-calling. I think these are issues we will probably deal with forever, unfortunately. But it seems like things are progressing a little at a time, and I'm cool with that. ALRIGHT! I'll give you a hint as to what our fight was about. If you had to look up this fight in the card catalog of our life together, you'd probably want to look under "communication" (the lack of) and "money." I know. What a shocker.

So aside from our little grudges that lingered through the last week or so, everything's been pretty darn good.

Brian built Camp his first ramp. Camp was totally stoked and walked around all day with a notepad in which he and Brian had drawn all of the different types of ramps. Camp has been exceptionally good lately which has made me likely the happiest mother alive. He has gotten so much better at not hitting his friends, throwing fits, and going crazy when I say no. In fact, you are not going to believe this: the other day I was at the dollar store and when we got to the register, Camp asked me if he could have one of those jumbo-sized blow pops sitting below the counter. I said, "No. Not this time" and Camp replied, "OK, Mom, " with a sweet little voice. The cashier guy commented that he thought I should write a book or give classes or something. I just wanted to die. Seriously. I could hardly imagine a better note on which to leave the earth. The irony of the situation is so hysterical, considering that for about 90% of my experiences in stores with my kids, I probably had folks all over the place whispering about how I needed to be institutionalized or dragged out of the store with my kids at the very least.




Jane is a joy most of the time --going around telling Camp that he has a "poopoo wog in his gaipa (diaper pro- nounced guy-pa)."

Danin is standing on her own now, got her first tooth, and is eating big people food.

Brian is busy which is about the greatest blessing a self -employed person-- especially a general contractor -- could ask for.

And me? Man, I'll tell you. I have done so well lately at not losing my temper -- especially with my kids. And for about two weeks now, I have been able to defy myself by folding each load of laundry as it has come out of the dryer, so I have not had it pile up once. AND my flowers are looking fabulous. So if it weren't for the fact that my car is burning oil and smoking out everyone we drive by, I would pretty much be the coolest person in town.

So all is good in our hood.

I'm feeling crappy.

Sometimes the sappy, seemingly perfect blogging world makes you want to puke, so I thought I'd add a bit of variety to it. Brian and I are in a fight. Our differences are currently not complimenting one another as they do most of the time. I will not tell you what we are fighting about, as I recognize that I would not represent Brian's perspective fairly. What I will tell you is that I cried a lot, said a prayer that our hearts would both be softened, and then took a nap. It could have been worse. I could have screamed and punched Brian like I wanted to and then called my mom or Brian's mom in order to get validation. As it is, I'm up from my nap, and my heart has not been softened (does that mean I'm right and I don't need any softening?) and I'm wondering when and how this fight will ever end.

So there.