Sunday, February 7, 2010

Loogie

So you know how there are those people who are just born with the gift to find super cute things for fantastic prices? Well, unfortunately--despite being someone who is obsessed with finding good deals--I am not usually one of those lucky people. However, I do happen to be lucky enough to have a friend who IS one of those lucky people, and she recently found me a cute shirt. Unfortunately, it only fits me when I'm standing up. When I sit down, I have to be careful that I don't bust open (no pun intended). Wait. Who am I kidding? Like I even have a bust. But in high school, I did have a bit more of a bust and there was once a time when I wore this rayon (or something like that) button-up shirt to school, and all through the day I found the buttons falling open. Seriously! It happened all day long, and it was horrifying. Those pervs a the GAP...
Anyway, so I still wanted to wear the shirt (that my friend, Maddi got me)to church today. As it happens, today was my day to teach Relief Society, and whenever I speak or teach a lesson, I have to give special attention to what I wear. Why? Because remember I told you that I have that sweating problem? Yeah, well, it's especially bad when I'm going to be talking in front of people. It really makes no sense, because I'm totally comfortable talking in front of people, but whatever. It happens, and it is super annoying. So I either have to layer up, or I have to wear dark colors that won't show the sweat marks. And despite the fact that my new shirt is dark brown with polka dots, I was worried that it may still show sweat lines. So I did just what I did when I went with Tyson to prom and I stuck some pantie liners in my armpits. Quick fix, almost, but in sacrament meeting, I noticed one of the liners sneaking out of my sleeve while the other one was making its way down my side. Yikes! Can you imagine me giving my lesson with that happening? Uh, yeah. Don't mind the pad falling out of my armpit.
So I already had enough to worry about as I gathered up crayons and stuff and hoisted Danin up to haul her off to nursery at the end of sacrament. But as I readied to leave, Danin began sneezing. One sneeze. Two sneezes. Three sneezes! Ah-choo! Out of Dan's mouth came a loogie that flew out and landed on the arm of the woman in back of us (who had just decided to start coming back to church). I am not even kidding. The lady was kinda leaned over talking and she didn't even change positions or turn her head. I'm sure she was afraid to look and afraid to make me feel stupider than I already felt. So I quickly and politely wiped that sucker away with Dan's dress as I attempted an apology and we slunk out quickly.
Thankfully, my lesson went fine, and nothing fell out anywhere. I don't know where in the heck those little liners had gone, but they weren't in my armpits where they were supposed to be. I might have worried that I had inadvertently left a pad on the church's hallway floor or something, but when I returned home and changed my shirt, they were both accounted for.

Oooooohhhhh, and guess what? I changed my room. Did I ever post pictures after I painted my room blue prior to Brooke's visit? I don't think so. Probably because it still looked terrible. Even Sarah asked why I hadn't done anything with my room when she came to visit a while back. It's just been a mish-mash of things that don't really look good together--until Friday, that is. I made a few changes, painted a couple things, moved few things around, and now things look so much better. Still not amazing by any means, but seriously--so much better.

Pictures to follow.

9 comments:

Audge said...

Ok...flippin funniest blog post. Hahahahahaha nice aim, baby Dan.

Hahaha "Uh yeah. Don't mind the pads coming out of my armpits." Bahahahaha

I love this post.

Heather and Billy said...

Audge put it best.
I really needed a laugh today. Really. Thanks Ann (and Danin)!

And you know it's bad when "even Sarah noticed". ;)

Jen said...

Pads in armpits...that's a good one!

R. B said...

Ann,

I thought parents rooms were supposed to be mishmashed. :)

I wanted to tell you I am so proud of your CUTE chair, (someday, someday, I'll have one too. Right now my 'upholstered' couch is a shame....gnarled by the children to bits, I should take a picture and make people laugh, cry or barf....and that I love your Christmas shots of your family with the brown outfits...SOOO cute and you look babalicious.

For the record I never find good deals in time or whatever its not my talent....at all! But I have a sister in law, (Katie) and a mother in law to make up for it! Katie got me a 1 dollar razor for me and a free one for Riley which she gave to us for our stockings...isn't that so sweet????

love, Emily

megan said...

I seriously don't know what's funnier- the idea of having a Maxi-pad fall out of your SHIRT, or of your baby shooting loogies onto other people's bare skin. I miss you!!! :D

Laura Hendricks said...

pads falling out of shirts is always a legitimate mitchell concern

Anonymous said...

Hey! I thought your room looked good. Does that mean I have bad taste? Thanks for the laugh though! -Amy

Diana P. said...

Somehow, I don't think those at church would be suprised to see pads falling out of your tops, or by flying loogies from your children. Bet that lady won't sit near you guys next time.

april said...

so funny! i have the same sweaty problem. the worst when i am nervous about things. not so much when i should be sweaty -- like when I work out or run -- still not as much as when i am nervous about something. Glad I'm not alone :)
Oh and I love that you wiped the loogie with Danin's dress -- haha! :)